Slogans and Madness
by The Quote Bandit
Summary: Just as Rand finally realizes he's mad, his so-called friends have to go prove it to him. The nerve!


**Right off that bat, I would like to say that I had no earthly idea what I was doing when I wrote this. The idea came to me when I read something in the book (I'm almost done with the 6th one now!) And could not stop laughing. It was something to do with Rand's madness. After I stopped, I said the first line Perrin says in this story. I says no more on that subject.**

**Btw, 5th book, I was very unhappy with. It was very Rand and Nynaeve heavy, and Rand got on my nerves quite alot. So did Nynaeve. I could barely read at times because I was so mad at those two characters. And Perrin's storyline wasn't mentioned ONCE (he is my favorite, and Loial and Faile are pretty high up there, too). He had such greatness in the 4th with Faile (SQUEE!!! I be a romantic, it true) and everything else, and then not getting any time AT ALL?! Psh.**

**But the 6th one is making me very very happy. It's muy spiffy, and only Nynaeve's is the one getting on my nerves if ever! And I like the little rhyme at the beginning. I memorized it and put it to the tune "Ring around the Rosie." I think it fits well, no?**

**One last thing before I send you to read. I officially declare I am never going to try to get the charries in character. The WoT charries simply change their personalities to fast for me to keep up with.**

**Read on, and comment!!! You don't know how happy comments make me.**

Rand was unhappy as he walked along the halls of the palace in Cairhein. He was absolutely nothing like he was about two years ago. For starters, he ordered lords and servants around and expected them be followed. He muttered under his breath while clutching his head. He laughed quite a lot when most people didn't seem to find it all that funny. And, to top it all off, he had a crazy dead guy in his head who could be another personality Rand concocted to deal with stress. There was no denying it.

"I'm bloody mad," he mumbled under his breath.

"Don't get mad, get glad!" Rand jolted in surprise as a burly arm curled over his shoulders in a man hug. He turned to see it was Perrin, of all people. With an idiot grin on his face, to boot

"What?" he said shakily. Perrin just shook his head and gestured to a door nearby, still grinning. Sure enough, Olver popped out of the door.

"Five dollar foot loooong!" He exclaimed, before giggling uncontrollably.

"Mmmm, love what you eat." Rand's eyes bulged as Mat stepped out of the door behind him, Elayne behind him, and completing the inside joke between him and the kid. Both Mat and Olver looked at each other before falling in fits of silent laughter. Elayne glared at them both.

"How…how are you guys here? Aren't you supposed to be in Salidar?" Rand demanded, very confused. Elayne simply gave him a "You got 30 minutes" and a level look before returning to glare at the other two men. Rand simply shook his head, giving up.

"This can't be happening," he muttered, shrugging off Perrin's arm with some slight difficulty.

"I'm lovin' it!" Min proclaimed. Min, unfortunately, was written out of the story before she could scar Rand any more.

"I'm going to bed!" he yelled, throwing his hands up in frustration as he stalked away as fast as he could.

"Where it's easy to get a great night sleep!" sung the entire group as Rand rounded the corner. After a couple of minutes the voices finally died away, and he was at his rooms. With a heavy sigh he crawled into bed, glad to have escaped everyone. _Finally, no more people proving to me that I'm crazy._

_Just like you like it, _came Lews Therin's musings. Rand merely yelled in frustration in response.

**BELATED DISCLAIMER- All people related to the Wheel of Time are, most likely, not me. As in there is a 99.9infinity chance it isn't me. But then again, I'll put this small bit of doubt in you, just to see if anyone takes it seriously. Despite the fact that Jordan ain't kicking no more. And all the slogans belong to, in this order, Glad bags, Subway, Quiznos, Dominos, McDonalds, Mattress Firm, and What-A-Burger. What-A-Burger, by the by, is a fast food chain only in Texas. And, in my opinion, make some pretty good burgers. If you ever go to Texas and hear someone talking about "Waterburger," they are talking about the same place! I honestly thought when I first heard it that they made burgers out of water.**

**And, to explain the inside joke between Mat and Olver (Mat, btw, is starting to rival Perrin in favorite-charrieness), just think about it in the most dirty-minded way you can. I'm ashamed of myself for even thinking of it.**


End file.
